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Not good enough!

November 9, 2012

Sometimes, I don’t even agree with myself on certain issues and need to weigh my options, pros & cons, in order to proceed.

My honest opinion: These can be the best discussions ever, because they make you see so much clearer what is important and what isn’t.
I just had a debate with myself for over an hour, which was pretty interesting (epic), I even surprised myself with this one.

Being in a fight with yourself about political issues in your own country made me realize, I am fully capable of having an argument, point out the truth that hurts and in the end I was even able to win against my conservative side. – Thanks mom for teaching me, how to have a conversation with myself in order to figure out, what I want. I am not crazy, my mother had me tested – So what?!

I sometimes feel like a disappointment to myself, because I am not where I want to be at, at the moment and I know this is a universal feeling, a lot of us have to deal with on a regular basis, may it be our jobs, our relationships or hell, even our families.
It creates the feeling/mindset of not being good enough for anything/something, which couldn’t be further from the truth. So when I get into a halt, because I am not able to figure out which way to go, I start talking to others in order to get a new idea about what to do, because all our minds are limited but become so much more with the input from another source.In the past, people and I myself have been responsible for holding me back, because my selfimage was so distorted, just because I listened and cared too much about what others had to say about me or the issues at hand, instead of trusting myself enough to make a decision or to hold my own ground.
I am done looking for my convictions, because I have already found them and started to live by them. In order to find them, I had to make an awful lot of mistakes and went through a huge amount of troubles, either created by myself or created by others and it is a miracle that I pulled through, came out clean on the other side.
I don’t regret anything, because I wouldn’t be the man who I am today, capable of speaking two languages fluently, capable to write and speak my mind, capable to forgive (maybe not forget), to move on, most importantly capable to change and see things & people for who they are.Nobody is perfect – Perfection doesn’t exist but I am constantly fighting against not being good enough, because we all can be so much more and better than the day before.
Yesterday has come and gone, like long lost love it had to move on, tomorrow is unknown to us, so stop feeding worries or create a fuss. Today is the day we are able to change the outcome of what may, be well our future, so stop saying nay!The feeling of not being good enough, can either be a motivator or hold you back from doing what you want to do. You are the one who decides what it is going to be for you!

On the one hand, I don’t fulfill the qualifications for certain jobs, on the other hand, I am not lacking the knowledge nor the intelligence required.
When I went back to school last year, I didn’t have the patience, because in some courses it wasn’t going fast enough for me and in others it went on too fast for me. I also don’t see the benefit in being taught something that is absolutely not required in the field, that I want to work in.
The educational system is messed up that way, but that is not the only thing that is messed up, it is also the expectations of employers in this and every other country for that matter.
Neither the unemployment office nor our government wants to address these issues. It is not because they are not fully aware of these issues, it is because they don’t care or think enough about them. They think they have it all figured out and just because they all had to go through the same way, they live in the mindset, what ain’t broken, shouldn’t be fixed, but it is broken beyond believe.
Don’t get me wrong, they are aware of a lot of issues regarding the educational system but instead of making it easier, they just complicate things beyond measure. So please wake up and see what is going on, covering your eyes to ignore this, doesn’t make it go away and bureaucracy is not a solution, it is a travesty.

It is no surprise, why I do feel like I am not good enough, because modern society keeps reminding me, every single day, although I do know better. For god’s sake, I taught myself English, because the courses in school weren’t efficient enough.

So, if any of you have contacts to an employer, who needs someone with a talent for writing, someone with an open mind and the knowldge of how new media works (well, tumblr is still a mystery to me), please feel free to share this with them. I am not a freedom fighter, I am just one voice among billions and I have had enough.

I am fully aware that there are more people like me out there, but I also have to do something that I feel comfortable with and all of the jobs I have had until now, made me feel like a slave and not like a contributor to society!- Dome Woo
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